Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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