apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
