I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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