Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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