Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
