Plan B is the new Plan A
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
