Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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