Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
