R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
