The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
