what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
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He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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