I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
