Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
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But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
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What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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