i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
