Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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