I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
