So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
being pregnant is like rehab
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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