I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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