; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I need to sanitize my soul.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize