He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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