this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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