just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
