I think I am morally bankrupt
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
