I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize