you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
