you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
