She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
