They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
