After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He better not be in your backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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