The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
