Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
