my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
