he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
