Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
