i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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