Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
