So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize