Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
