ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just found puke in my bra..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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