She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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