Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
