chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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