She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
