And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
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Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
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As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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