i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the day after is always just damage control
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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