I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
