Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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