I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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