I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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