i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
