I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
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It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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