Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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