He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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