I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
