Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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