how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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