two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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