Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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