I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
