so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
