Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
