Porn is love you can see.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
