That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
