scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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